You know, today I was actually finding some inner tranquility about this whole disaster I call a marriage. I went over to my friends' place for dinner and drinks and got pretty bombed. Happily bombed. Wonderfully bombed. Blissfully bombed. Crazy-sexy-cool bombed. Passed-out-in-the-back-of-the-cab-until-the-cab-driver-woke-me-up-to-verify-the-building-he'd-parked-in-front-of-is-actually-where-I-live bombed.
I came home and flipped on my computer to check Facebook. As the curious person that I am, I checked Simon's profile to see what's up.
Here's what's up - his official status is "Simon is happy!!!!" FOUR EXCLAMATION POINTS. That's gotta be pretty fucking happy.
Then I check his mini feed. Oooh, he's made a new friend, Sarah Herren. Geez, she looks pretty familiar. Like Sarah Crocker, the STUPID FUCKING SLUT that propositioned him the night I tossed his sorry ass out.
Here's a transcript from that evening (and I apologize for the lack of grammar):
Sarah Crocker
7:33pm July 14th
hey sexy how are you doing i wanted too let you know i was very serious about what i said lastnight BUT i dont want you too feel pressure do what makes you feel comfortable i just have liked you since i met you youre a great guy lol HOT AS HELL too
Then I sent her a message letting her know my absolute DISTASTE with the fact that she would be so vulgar as to hit on a married man, and do so repeatedly in a message with absolutely no punctuation. She responded with the following (again, my apologies for the lack of proper use of the English language):
Sarah Crocker
6:15pm July 15th
i deleted his as a friend and told him if i see him at the bar ill say hi but nothing more and besides when i propositioned him he said the marriage was probably ending and that he agreed too message me when / if things go bad with you and him
Little Miss SLUT has changed her profile name on Facebook, thinking she was oh so clever, and I could never POSSIBLY put two and two together. Because really, how on EARTH could I ever surmise that the picture I saw on Sarah Crocker's profile could remotely be the same as the picture on Sarah Herren's profile? I can't possibly be that smart! And I could never EVER figure out why Simon would add Ms. Herren as a friend.
I wish right now, I could breathe fire into an email and send it to both Simon and Sarah. I would love for their eyebrows to burn off. Then they could make out with each other, in eyebrowless bliss.
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1 comment:
I have been trying to figure out what to write and the only thing I can come up with is that you are very courageous to put your feelings out in the "blogsphere" and send us (your friends)the link. Remember, you are stronger then you think and there will be a time when it won't hurt as much. Whatever you need, we'll be there for you!
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