The Ayes Have It

So my little poll closed with 100% of you voting that I should file for divorce.

My first reaction would be to fall to peer pressure. After all, you have an outside perspective. Which is usually a clearer, less emotional way of looking at things.

However, I had long discussion with my therapist and have concluded that I won't file for divorce.

Shock! Horror! Dismay!

I thank the 6 of you for your input - believe me, your click was not in vain.

The root of the issue was figuring out what was more important for me, having the marriage dissolved, or having Simon take responsibility for this disaster.

I explained my problem to my therapist, and even begged her to tell me what to do. She laughed and said she couldn't tell me what to do, but she could help me look at the pros and cons of the situation. So I told her everything I was feeling about why I should and shouldn't. And then she reiterated it back to me. It's always different hearing it come back from a person who has absolutely no emotional attachment to you. And as I listened to her telling me what I had just told her, the decision was suddenly so clear.

As I have said many times in the last 6 months, I will never sign a marriage license again. I will have another wedding, but when it comes to the part where we sit down and sign the marriage license, that will be very purposefully omitted from the programme.

For me, I have absolutely nothing to lose by not having the marriage legally dissolved. I have a signed separation agreement that is legal and binding. So as far as I'm concerned, it's done.

For Simon, I'm sure he will be looking to make some unlucky woman Wife #3. He will need more than a signed separation agreement to make that happen.

I understand that at some point I will have to deal with him again. He will need to contact me to get the marriage certificate, as that is required to file for divorce. But that will be a small price to pay to know that he will finally take responsibility in cleaning up the mess he made.