Minor Milestones

I've been officially separated for 3 months now. I've been officially on anti-depressants for 2 weeks now. And I've been officially on a leave from work for 6 days now.

Yay me.

Since being on meds/off work, I thought I would do myself a favour and go easy on myself. I've always been the type of person to over achieve, to push myself to the limits, to stretch so thin that I swear I've seen actual holes appear in my body. However, being in this fragile emotional state, I promised myself I would only set one goal per day. Small, achievable goals so that I don't get overwhelmed.

My goals thus far:
- pick up the things I threw on the floor in the living room (check)
- do the dishes (check)
- read for a period of more than 30 minutes (check)
- draw (check)
- have dinner with friends (check)
- change the cat litter (still working on that)

Today's goal is to post to my blog. Check.

Tomorrow's goal is to buy a small canvas and a few tubes of paint. I've always wanted to try painting. I am sure it will end up looking like a big blob of nothing, but I don't care. I want to squeeze the paints on to the canvas and smoosh the colours around until I feel better. I want to get my hands into the paint and feel the liquid squish between my fingers. I want the paint to get under my fingernails so that I will be picking it out for the next week. I'm not sure why I'm so convinced that painting will help me, but I've got to explore this feeling.

Squish.