I am not a fan of making a song "ours". I have made it a point NOT to dedicate songs to men since Grade 7 when a boy named Sean broke my heart, after having given me Richard Marx's album "Repeat Offender" on tape, because it had our song "Right Here Waiting". That song broke my heart over and over for a good couple months and that's when I decided I would never let a boy ruin a song for me ever again.
I managed to stick to that rule until I met my husband. Simon and I met at karaoke. Obviously during our relationship, we went to a lot of karaoke bars. And even more obviously, we'd sing songs for each other. One of the songs Simon would dedicate to me is "Amazed" by Lonestar. It would start with something like, "This is for my wife. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me." And the song I would sing and (begrudgingly) dedicate to him is "Some Kind of Wonderful" by Grand Funk Railroad, as reinterpreted by Joss Stone. The only reason SKOW ended up becoming the dedication song was because I sang it the night we got engaged - at the karaoke bar where we first met.
The band I'm in does a cover of SKOW and during every performance Simon would expect, nay DEMAND, I dedicate the song to him. Again, I begrudgingly obliged. I thought it was fucking ridiculous that he expected this out of me EVERY TIME. I know it was more for the benefit of his ego, and to let every male in the audience know I was his woman.
After we broke up, and I broke the news to my band, I told them under no circumstances would we ever play SKOW again. They all understood and quickly researched other tunes to take its place. My favourite thus far is a Bonnie Raitt tune called, "Love Me Like a Man". Ha! You can bet I'll be dedicating that to Simon.
At any rate, last week Simon called me to make sure that everything was on track to us getting divorced. His exact words were, "Is our divorce going to be normal?" Normal? Normal?! What the fuck is NORMAL about a DIVORCE? I mentioned that we did not own any property together, nor did we share any spawn, so as far as I could tell, it should be NORMAL.
I found it interesting that he was concerned about ensuring our divorce moves along quickly. Simon is not the type of person to tie up loose ends. Case in point - he's never bothered to go to court to get a proper custody agreement between him and the mother of his child. Yet he complained endlessly about how his rights were being trodden on. I would hardly think he would be concerned with the details of our divorce proceedings. Unless ... he's ... already ... planning ... to ... PROPOSE TO HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called my brother after work that day and ordered him to check Simon's Facebook profile to see if anything has changed. The screen capture brought back this image:
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Let me say that again.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Never mind that he is already saying "I love you" to someone he only met at most 2 months ago. He's using the SAME song and the SAME DEDICATION.
How many times has he used this song with the women who came before me? That song was released in 2000, so it's entirely possible he dedicated that song to his first wife, 2nd engagement, 3rd engagement, 4th engagement & mother of his child, and then me. Lucky Number 5. And now Ms. Anderson has the dubious honour of being Number 6.
After finding out this piece of information, I went back to my band at rehearsal (conveniently that very same night) and told them about Simon's penchant for recycling. And then I told my band that I was taking that song back. I was going to follow Simon's environmentally friendly ways and TAKE THAT FUCKING SONG BACK.
Not only is it MY song again, I plan on dedicating it to whomever is standing in front of me any time I sing it. And it will be because THEY are the best thing that's ever happened to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment