Our first tiff

I guess it had to happen - it can't always be sunshine and bubblegum when it comes to relationships. We had our official first tiff. I won't call it a fight, because it wasn't. But it still rattled me that we didn't see eye to eye on a subject that's pretty important to me.

The tiff was about jealousy. I absolutely cannot handle my partner being jealous. One of my exes was suspicious of everyone of the opposite sex, and thus I was made to feel that I was under a microscope 24/7. My ex would constantly question who I was hanging out with and anytime the opposite sex popped up, a barrage of questions would immediately start. "Are they cute?" "Do they like you?" "Did they try to kiss you?" Honestly, did they try to kiss me??? What the hell kind of question is that? When would the person serving me coffee try to kiss me? That's how insanely jealous my ex was. At any rate, I began to edit out half of my life - that of the opposite sex - when talking to my ex about anything.

Simon called me on lunch and I mentioned I am going to see a play on Friday night with a coworker of mine, who I'm sure has always had a crush on me. This coworker has never made any moves, but that's because the coworker knows I'd end our friendship immediately if there was any indication that the coworker wanted anything more.

Anyway, Simon had responded with, "Oh, is that the one who likes you?" but said it all nasty to me.

I told S that I can't deal with the jealous type. That's my dealbreaker. I went on to recount the tale of my crazy ex. Then Simon accused me of jumping down his throat. I'm like, no, I'm having a calm conversation with you and telling you how I feel about things. Then he got really defensive and said that I should understand because of all the past relationships where he had been cheated on. Then he asked me how I would like it if he were to go to a play with someone who likes him? I said it wouldn't bother me because I'm not the jealous type. Simon declared that if I am not jealous, then I must not truly care about him or care about losing him. I just about hung up. We were teetering close to the edge of insanity for a moment.

We sort of smoothed things a bit on the phone and then when we got home from work, we had a long talk. Simon needs to trust me. And if Simon truly trusts me, then everything else is not an issue. And no amount of worrying would change anything. Simon seemed to accept what I was saying. He promised he wouldn't be jealous and would try not to worry about the "what ifs".

I still can't believe how upset I was by a little tiff. A more recent ex of mine and I would bicker all the time and I wouldn't get upset - I'd be irritated and annoyed, but not sad. I was sad about my tiff with Simon. I must be truly in love.