Singular Sensation

"Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow! You're only a day away!"
From the musical Annie

"One, singular sensation! Every little step she takes!"
From the musical A Chorus Line

I woke up this morning without a voice. Yup, totally voiceless. I tried to yell at the cat for swatting my head to wake me up and no sound came out.

Nothing.

For a moment I thought I'd died, because of course you can't make sounds when you're dead. Then for a moment I thought I'd died still married to Simon. Then I jumped out of my bed and really hurt my abdomen. I'm not catching any breaks this month when it comes to my health.

Ironically, I've had quite a few dreams over the last few weeks where I've lost my voice. I've been in really bad situations where I need to scream and I am physically unable to make any sound at all.

The last time I lost my voice was 5 years ago when I was producing/directing/writing/starring in a play for the local Fringe Festival. There was a lot of crap happening on and off the stage. I felt like no one was listening to me at all. Not as a fellow actor, not as the director, and certainly not as the boss-girl producer.

About 3 weeks before opening night, I woke up and my voice was gone. I went to the doctor and he diagnosed it being stressed induced laryngitis. I had to take a vow of silence for 3 weeks and even then, I only managed to squeak through opening night. That was one of the roughest months of my life. The show was well received, however I ended up losing a thousand dollars on the show overall and never spoke to the cast ever again.

My current condition could be due to the fact that I had two consecutive shows with my band, and then I spent the day at Canada's Wonderland hollering my head off on the roller coasters.

Or it could be due to the fact that tomorrow, I will be finally putting the last nail in the coffin that holds my dead marriage.

I'm really scared that something is going to go wrong between now and tomorrow morning. And maybe that fear has manifested itself in laryngitis.

All I can do is suck back honey & warm water and try to relax. Everything is going to be fine. I will be at the courthouse at 8:30am tomorrow and I will finally sever the ties that have bound me for the last 2 1/2 years. And then it's off to the spa!

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock....