Get Your Own Wardrobe

A friend of mine told me that Simon has another new girlfriend. It's all over his Facebook page, but what else is new. Ppffftttt.

Both his and her profile have a picture of the two of them. The thing that strikes me about the pictures is that he's still wearing the same clothes that I bought for him when we were together. And he's still wearing the watch that I gave him for Christmas 2005.

As with most gifts, I put a lot of thought into them. And if it takes me weeks to find the perfect gift, then I will put in that time. And usually cost is not a deciding factor.

The watch I gave him was a special edition Fossil watch, made specifically for The Matrix movie in 1999. He loves The Matrix trilogy. I searched high and low for that watch. I eventually found it on Ebay, in Korea. I paid a pretty penny for that watch. I made sure it would be delivered in time for him to open it on Christmas morning.

He loved it (of course) and whenever someone would pay him a compliment on the watch, he'd be sure to let them know that his wife gave him the watch as a Christmas present. He got a LOT of compliments on that watch. It really is a freaking cool watch.

So I wonder what he says now? I wonder what he told his current girlfriend about the watch. I wonder what he tells new people about the watch. Imagine, he's at karaoke with his new gf, and the waitress notices the watch. "Here's your beer. Wow, that's a really great watch! Where did you get it?"

I would hope it would go something like this:

Idiot Boy: "Thanks. Yeah, it's a really nice watch."

Waitress: "So where did you get it?"

IB: "Um, my wife gave it to me."

W: (turning to new gf) "Oh wow, you must really love him."

GF: "I'm not his wife."

(awkward silence)

W: "Well, just let me know if you want anything else."

GF: "You should stop wearing that watch."

I can imagine the same scenarios with his clothes, because I got him some really awesome stuff. And I hope everytime he gets dressed in the morning, he looks in the mirror and he sees my face. And I hope he chokes on it. And I hope she chokes on it too when she's doing his laundry. Especially his underwear, cuz I bought them for him too.

Double Ppffffftttt.